President Abraham Lincoln called a meeting to order in his office, a meeting which included secretaries of his cabinets well as leaders of Congress. They discussed the Civil War and its effect upon the economy and our standing among the nations in the world. After the president spoke for a while, he paused to look at his notes and during that, first the vice president and then members of the cabinet stood up and spoke.
The vice president started the discussion, “Thank you so much President Lincoln for restoring this country. Your efforts as president have brought energy and optimism to our people. You made promises in your campaign and inaugural and you are fulfilling them. I am so deeply humbled, as your vice-president, to be able to be in your presence and administration.”
Secretary of State Seward continued the praise: “You have done what few presidents have done, brought real leadership and skills to the presidency and delivered on your promises”
Secretary of the Treasury Chase commented “I just want to thank you President Lincoln for speaking out on behalf of the forgotten men and women of America. Because of your leadership, because of your determination, those forgotten men and women are no longer forgotten and we are making America great again.”
Secretary of War Stanton then continued with: “Mr. President, you are living up to everything I thought you would. You are a wonderful leader and we are all benefiting from it. One of the greatest privileges in my life is to be here with you, the President of the United States, who I love and appreciate so much.”
Not to be outdone, the Attorney General offered, “President Lincoln, I want you to know that through your exquisite leadership we have made such progress that those who follow us will marvel at your greatness.”
Even the Postmaster General offered his view: “Thank you for allowing us to have you as our president. It is your exquisite leadership which has created the many accomplishments of this presidency. God is to be thanked for giving America a president who is so courageous and willing to deal with the winds of controversy in order to provide a better future for those who follow.”
President Lincoln sat in silence, looked around the room and asked his assistant, John Nicolay, for the spittoon in the corner. Mr. Nicolay brought it to President Lincoln, who stood up and vomited into its depths.
[for those who didn't hear the sycophancy practiced yesterday by members of Congress, the Cabinet, the Vice President, nothing of this sort happened back in the 1860s nor would Lincoln have tolerated it.]
